The content of my website is changing a little. When I originally started it I chose meditation as it is something that I am very passionate about, but I also realize that it is a very broad subject. Besides, when it comes to my spirituality I need inspiration in order to write, and I do not feel that daily. As such, Fibromyalgia is something I live with and manage on a daily basis, and have been doing it for nine years. It is in this realm that I have a lot of wisdom. To date, there are approximately 5 million people afflicted with fibromyalgia in American and the numbers will continue to rise.
It has been nine years since I started experiencing the pain of fibromyalgia, six since I was diagnosed. And my life has changed exponentially. Not only from the dysfunction itself, but the impact it has had on how I had always lived my life, to the facts I had to accept so that I could make the changes that needed to happen. I have tried…well, actually I do not know how many different modalities, treatments and healing work I have researched trying to find a way to live with my new friend.
I believe that those of us afflicted with fibromyalgia can learn to live full lives, with joy and inner peace galore. I can only speak from my own experience with it, but if these things can help me, maybe it can help others as well. But in order to consider alternative things in managing fibromyalgia, you must open your mind to different possibilities, different outcomes, different modalities of treatment.
What Caused My Fibromyalgia
Like I said, I can only speak from my own personal experience, and why I believe fibromyalgia is a part of my life now. First, I believe that fibromyalgia is a dis-ease of energy. It not only comes about because of certain chemicals that are found in our food nowadays, but I believe the main cause of it is, holding onto emotions and energies that no longer serve a purpose for us. I believe the baggage gets so intense that our bodies must deal with it somehow, alas, fibromyalgia. I experienced a lot of anxiety throughout my adult life, and never really learned how to cope with it.
When I have flare-ups that is how my body feels, like it is one big giant anxiety, not a panic attack, but just my body reacting to stagnant anxiety that I haven’t let go of. I believe that it is my body making me aware that there are things in my life that need looking at, processing through, and releasing from my energy. The emotions don’t just go away, energy is never gone, it just transforms. If we don’t transform it so that we can release it, it becomes lodged in our energy. And if it stays there it needs to transform somehow, and so it manifests physically…wa la – fibromyalgia.
It is a Personal Journey
Fibromyalgia is an enigma in that it manifests in every individual differently. It is most definitely a personal journey. As such, it is up to each of us individually to figure out how to mange and live with it. You must find those things that work best for you and do those. So I know that not everything I do will work for everyone, but it may help some. Fibromyalgia teaches us to look within for the answers, as the doctors can only give you pills to mask the symptoms, but they can’t help you get to the root cause of the dis-ease. All the answers you need to manage your fibromyalgia are within you. You are the only one who knows how you feel. You can’t know fibromyalgia unless you experience it, because it is very personal.
Being it is personal, I have made a personal choice to manage my fibromyalgia on my own, without medical help. If you have a medical provider, please talk with them over any complementary or alternative treatments that you are considering. My blog is not medical advice, just a personal journey with a debilitating disorder.
Managing with Pills
It was January 2012 when I was diagnosed, although I had been experiencing wide-spread pain for 3 years prior to that. Of course, the doctor handed me prescriptions for pain pills and an anti-depressant, that would help me sleep. I filled them and began my year of pills. The anti-depressant did help me sleep initially, almost too heavy sometimes, for I would wake up feeling groggy. The pain pills created more of a numbness for me that made me not care I was in pain, as opposed to actually stopping the pain.
After taking my prescribed pills for a year, I stopped sleeping well, and was having to take the pain pills on a daily basis. My body was becoming addicted to them, and the numbness they caused was better than the alternative. I went back to the doctor for help. I was told to up my dose of anti-depressants, to increase my pain pills, and they gave me Gabapentin to start on.
I took the Gabapentin as instructed, I was to start with one pill and work up to three a day. I took my first pill. I then spent the day on my couch, hoping I wasn’t going to crawl out of my skin, and swearing that the Gabapentin was going in the garbage. It was that, plus gaining 40 pounds because of the anti-depressant, and my body becoming addicted to the Tramadol I was prescribed, that I decided I was going to do my fibromyalgia differently, naturally. I didn’t want to take pills anymore. I haven’t been to the doctor for my fibromyalgia since then.
They say that Reiki finds you, you don’t find it, and so it did. I had never even heard of Reiki, much less knew how to type it into the search engine. But somehow, some way, Reiki was a subject that turned up in my search, and so I checked it out. I was able to find someone who had an online Reiki class, and I checked out different books at the library to learn as much about it as I could. I was attuned to Reiki I on April 3, 2013. I now treat myself with Reiki, and am looking to become a Reiki Master so that I can help others as well.
After I became attuned, as the attunement consists of a meditation, I began to look into meditation, and what it was all about. Needless to say, I fell in love. I started with listening to meditation music, and then moved onto binaural beats and theta waves, and then mindfulness meditation. Meditation began to change all aspects of my life, not only coping with my fibromyalgia, and I began to find joy in living again.
Although, meditation and Reiki are my go-to’s, I have studied and practiced many more modalities. I use reflexology on myself frequently, essential oils to deal with both physical and emotional ailments, acupressure, chakra work, a little EFT, along with emotion releasing through The Emotion Code. I have recently become a Certified Ho’Oponopono Practitioner. It has now become part of my treatment.
It’s My Life – to live the way I want
I refused to let fibromyalgia manage me. I accept 100% responsibility for the fibromyalgia and what I need to do to manage it so that I may live life joyfully and fully. I do not say I suffer from it, because any suffering I do is self-created. It is what it is in my life at this moment. So I choose to manage it naturally, on my own, because for me, like everyone else, it is a personal journey. It is my journey with Fibromyalgia. I love my life, and am grateful that fibromyalgia is teaching me about myself every day.